I was thinking about candy today, like I do most days. After Halloween a few people brought in their leftover candy and dumped it in a bowl behind my desk. So now at lunch I've been eating those one-bite Musketeers and Snickers and avoiding the Smarties. I shouldn't be eating any candy. I've written at … Continue reading I Love Candy Forever
http://gph.is/1UOSVLF Lately I've been focused on writing short, satirical comedy pieces and now I'm self-conscious about my ability to write essays. So I'm literally only writing this to prove to myself (and public) I can still write semi-serious, long-form work. You happy? Halloween is next week and for the first time in years, I don't … Continue reading Did You Enjoy Planning Your Wedding?
I've been trying to make a living as a writer since I graduated college 8 years ago. Sometimes it feels like forever ago since I was told I did not get the Groupon Coupon Editor job, and I cried inside a janitor's closet inside a South Loop daycare center (one I was inexplicably hired at … Continue reading The 8 Years It Took Me to Get This One Job
I got engaged and suddenly everyone was looking at my hands. Right after I got engaged I was talking to a colleague and as she was looking down at my ring she said, “It must have been a surprise proposal, you don’t have your nails done.” I vaguely remembered hearing that was a thing some … Continue reading Hand in Marriage
HELLO. It's been over a month since I last wrote here and I'm feeling weirdly self-conscious about it! I was thinking about just not addressing it but that didn't feel ~authentic~ So now comes the part where I tell you all the reasons I've been away and you can decide if they are valid or … Continue reading June + July
New York trash cannot be held back. For some reason I underestimated its resiliency even though it would stand to reason that a city defined by its toughness would extend to its garbage. The trash here is mobile. It's constantly getting swept up and transported to some block or subway train tracks or bodega entry. … Continue reading New York is a Dump
That "new sweatshirt feel" is one of my favorite things in the world. I had forgotten what it felt like but then I bought a hoodie at H&M on Friday and it felt so good, I immediately dreaded the point in which I'd have to wash it. That point where it begins to dull and … Continue reading Sweatshirts Are for Summers