I Got Married

I’ve put enough dumb shit up here over the years that I figured I should dedicate a little space to the Big Day I had, and the even bigger life I’m going to have because of it! I got married two Saturdays ago, woah! And no I don’t feel any different, but I feel happy and loved!

Years ago, before I was engaged, I had a habit of asking my married friends about what it was like to be married. I was skeptical. Even then Jeff and I had been dating for years. I already felt “married” in the way that we lived together and more importantly, committed ourselves to each other. What difference could a legality make?

One friend told me that when you get married the world sees you differently. Right or wrong, the world looks favorably on married people. This is a club of people that in theory you can trust and rely on. There are of course, just as many married people who are fuckups as there are non-married ones, but I think there’s this feeling that if you’ve legally committed yourself to someone, that now you are an impenetrable unit. It’s infinitely harder for someone to take you down. That’s powerful.

I could be talking out my ass – I’ve been married for less than two weeks. But I do like pretending that marriage turns you and your partner into Megatron. Is that so wrong? I don’t know, I’ve never seen Transformers but I feel like most people have so I’m banking on your ability to picture our new, giant stature and hulking strength.

Photo: Elizabeth Tsung

On Monday, a new person started on my team and I thought about how she will only ever know me as a WIFE and a married person. Yes, she will know me primarily as a colleague, then a person who talks about cats, then a mentor (haha WTF I don’t even KNOW her and in my fantasy list I’m hoping we can spark up a mentorship?! Sure, I’ll do it!), and then, finally, in conversation about our weekend plans, I will inevitably mention my HUSBAND, (weird)!

I thought about what my friend said about the world seeing married people differently. And because this new person at work is younger than me and not married, and because I thought the same thing not long ago, I assume she thinks all married people are old and lame. And she’s not wrong! I will literally die if I take a shot and I can’t stay awake on Friday nights, so I’m not really doing anything to disprove her belief!

So in summary: I’m legally married, I am a wife, but I’ve kept my last name and I had no physical transformation (except on my wedding day when a woman named Kiki applied fake eyelashes to my face and made me look like Barbie’s camp counselor older sister. I wasn’t mad about it!)

Now the wedding, one evening that symbolized a whole lot, had been in the works for a year. So unlike the brand new marriage I’m just getting use to, I’ve spent a lot of time with this wedding. Many posts could be written about it, a series even! But I’ve got some other writing projects I’d like to get to first. So I will say this about the wedding: it was really perfect.

One of my bridesmaids got a black eye in a freak accident the day before, it downpoured during our outdoor ceremony, and I barely had any pie, BUT Kiki covered up my girl’s black eye like a pro, the venue magically set up the ceremony indoors, and some angel packed up pie slices in to-go containers and got them to our hotel room that night. Unbelievable. I’m still in awe over how everything came together and just how lucky we are. It was such a great way to enter into this next chapter of our lives. I told Jeff I wanted to have a party like that every year and he laughed but said no because we’d be so poor. I’ll figure something out.



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